I have days like this. "Low days" if you like. Days where i struggle to get out of bed and it literally takes me hours to get up. This is the truth behind my battle with depression and anxiety.
Ive cried, a lot, today. Which sounds bad but, its not. Its the days where i can't even cry, they're the ones that hurt the most.
Today i can barely talk to someone i know without shaking. But tomorrow? Ill probably feel like im on cloud nine, singing and dancing away, making myself and others around me laugh.
This is what its like living with a mental illness. You never know what sort of day you're gonna have until the moment you wake up.
On a low day, every day things become a struggle. But ill still paint my face and put on that fake smile that people expect from me. The thought of stepping outside the security of my own home is enough to send me in to an anxiety attack.
For me, when these attacks come, i shake so much, its almost like i have Parkinson's. I have to take more tablets just to try and calm my body down but even they don't work all the time and im left a trembling mess, unable to walk.
The only thing that calms me every time is weed. BUT this is frowned upon.
Im ready for today to end now. i wonder what tomorrow will bring.